As I try to make new friends and keep which is very hard to do when you have chronic conditions such as Lupus, I tend to stop and reflect on what would have been different if I wasn't sick.
My boyfriend is supportive to a point but lots of times it seems as if he cant even seem to stand his own ground with his mother. I understand its your mother and its hard to do but there comes a point where you have to cut the cord and grow up , you cant keep letting mommy dictate your life especially when you want to create your own family .
Times like tonight , I'm not sure if its the hormones or loneliness but I wish I had someone that would actually be an adult more times than not. I fully understand leaning on people for help especially for difficult times but an error in typing should not cause the world to end, not having the exact total in coins should not send someone balling into tears. How does this effect me? well... Im afraid of saying something and opening up with something that might spiral these things the same way. Instead of rationalizing ok the total is $5.95 I only have 35cents and $6 , so give the $6 and get back 5 cents we have tears and i have to parent someone who is old enough to be a parent. Ive realized alot of this is due to the upbringing of individuals If a parent feeds off of this and realizes ok , this upsets my child so they will have a meltdown and I can swoop in and pay with a $10 and "save the day" they will idolize me more . If the parent is neither giving positive or negative responses when its obviously desired then the child is not going to know how to respond to a situation making things thus more difficult.
My concern: If someone still acts like a child how is it responsible for them to bring another life into this world and teach the same poor habits they were taught?
I'm caring but im not that stupid. I'm not taking care of an armful of children and then an adult child.
Then we have the parent who doesn't want to let go , so what do they do? Make up lies and spread them around .... Seriously? we are not in grade school!
I feel alone though because I feel as if I have no one to back me up or to share my true feelings because there is always going to be that "parental bias" I understand the need to protect your family but when its hurting repetitively hurting the person that you want to start your OWN family with , the person with whom YOU say you LOVE absolutely till the darkest days; yeah you should probably open your eyes and see what is going on and not wait till its almost over and there is nothing left to pick up of your family or family to be.
I dont really know if me being sick really would have made a difference on this but maybe with whom I fell in love with , shared that first kiss, first intimate experience with , and shared my love, my soul, my everything with. Not sure if that really would matter but perhaps my views would be different, my habits, my pain and depression at least.
Tomorrow is the last weekend of the Oklahoma State Fair , im going with him and his mom. Lets see how this goes and I will try to post weekly or bimonthly at least.
I don't typically lean towards TV personalities for advice but this came up on facebook the other day and I think its true... click the link to read the full article:
http://www.drlaura.com/b/Putting-Your-Spouse-Before-Your-Parents/-123678406442565473.html?utm_campaign=0906Putting-Your-Spouse-Before-Your-Parents&utm_medium=blog&utm_source=facebook&utm_content=09.06.13&utm_term=link
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